Nailbiter

September 25, 2009

There’s nothing wrong with biting your nails.Not really. I mean, it’s not like scratching someone’s car with your key or dousing something in gasoline–like a pool table–then threatening to strike a match, then making a match-lighting sound the way some people can make a paper-ripping sound and pretending to light a match to set the pool table on fire. That’s wrong. Actually, the part where you pour gasoline on someone else’s pool table  is wrong. The only place you should ever pour gasoline is into a tank, and maybe on a campfire to keep that sucker going.

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