From the monthly archives:

September 2009

Occupations in Which It’s Encouraged or Permitted to Imagine a Human Head Tumbling Around in a Laundromat Dryer

September 16, 2009

Crime Scene Investigator Physics Professor Dryer Manufacturer Actor Orthodontic Engineer* Sound Designer for Horror Films Horror Writer/Screenwriter *Pretty much anything goes.

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Dear Sideswiper

September 15, 2009

Dear Sideswiper, We haven’t met, but I’m the guy whose 2005 Chevy Cavalier you scratched and dented the other night. No problem. I’m sure it was an accident. And I’m sure that the note you left was either swept away by a gust of wind or some 17 year-old who thought it would be hilarious [...]

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Yelp* Review for Helena Taco John’s (Montana Ave.)

September 15, 2009

3.5 out of 5 Nachos Navidad didn’t have enough sour cream. Too many green chips. Dr. Diablo not working (second time in a row). Had a Mountain Dew. Old-style crunchy, round ice as good as ever. The kid behind the counter with the broken arm asked me to sign his cast. Said next time. Couldn’t [...]

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25 Names of Hamburgers on the Menus of Struggling Restaurants

September 14, 2009

The Slut Tutti Fruti Roger’s Last Mistake Big Wooly High Ankle Sprain Rutabaga Slush Backbiter The Packrat Dale’s Favorite The Ramshackle Tickler Scraps and Sawdust Corazon Aquino The Bull-Member The Wasted Vacation Dr. Dre’s Surprisingly, Pretty Good Burger (Considering) Melonball Double-Neck Break The Rag Doll Len’s Roundhouse Sickle Cell Little Reverend Wilson The Rubber Mallet [...]

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Notes from a Freshman Whiteboard

September 13, 2009

Dude, sorta spilled on your lap top my bad use mine Late.

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Cottage Cheese

September 12, 2009

You’ve really gotta be careful when you say things like, “Cottage cheese killed my dad,” because there could be someone out there whose dad choked on cottage cheese or was just extremely allergic. The same can be said for salsa and Dr. Bronner’s soap.

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