Mostly when I sit down to meditate and turn the eye inward, I see horse penises. It’s as if my mind has gathered the most robust stallions on the planet and chronicled their huge members, displaying them like blown-up photos on some high end gallery wall.
At this point in the zazen, I try to accept the horse penises for what they are, namely distractions of the mind luring me away from my Buddha nature. A thunderstorm of horse-penis distraction created by my mind to keep me from complete awareness.
But even after I’ve accepted the horse penis thunderstorm, the images do not pass. They stay with me, becoming more intense, more vivid.
I try to let go of any expectations I might have regarding my sitting meditation. I try to not judge myself so harshly for focussing exclusively on horse penises.
I relax and allow my mind to bring up whatever it wants.
And what it wants is more horse penis.
