SERVES 12
4 tablespoons butter
6 dozen chicken wings
2 bottles hot sauce
2 gallons frying oil
First, you need to melt that butter in a large saucepan. If you don’t have a saucepan, borrow one from your sister-in-law who never gives you enough credit as a cook. Tell her you’re making souffles. She’ll squint at you, which means, no you’re not, but that’s okay. Let her squint. Judgement begets cellulite.
Once the butter has melted, add the hot sauce. I use Ray Kane’s Flippin’ Crazy Hot Sauce because that’s what my mother uses for her wings, and she’s never wrong. She says Ray Kane is the hot sauce Messiah, which makes me really uncomfortable. She also wets herself when she laughs really hard, but I guess that’s typical for her age.
Set butter and hot sauce mixture aside.
Pour the oil in the fryer and get the temperature up to 225° F. Fill the basket with chicken wings and submerge into the scalding oil. Be careful, the oil is hot. The chicken should fry for 7 to 9 minutes. Set a timer. You don’t want to get caught buttoning up a pair of old-timey long johns and burn the wings because you left them fry too long.
Let the fried chicken cool for 5 minutes in the basket above the oil so excess grease will drip back into the fryer. Use this time to make anagrams from Ray Kane, like Kay Rane and karate. Once the chicken has cooled off slightly, dump the wings into the butter and hot sauce mixture. Toss the bowl like you know what you’re doing. The goal is to coat the wings in the sauce. If you didn’t know what the goal was for the tossing, then maybe what your sister-in-law says is true after all. Maybe you don’t belong anywhere near a fryer.
Plate and serve.
Great for Bible Studies and interventions!
