14 Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Confess My Feelings to My Adopted Sister from Brazil

1. Alandra already has a boyfriend back in Sao Paulo.
2. I’m not ready to take on a second language.
3. My grandmother hates Argentina, and she’ll never learn the difference.
4. It might be interpreted as a sign of severe penile disfunction in her culture.
5. Alandra already has a girlfriend back in Rio.
6. I’m never going to love soccer…no matter what.
7. Maybe she kisses everyone on the cheek when she greets them.
8. We share a toilet.
9. I can’t take another rejection from an adopted sister of foreign origin.
10. I might just be projecting my Oedipus complex.
11. I don’t believe in rainforest.
12. I’m a better samba dancer, and it’s going to make things awkward.
13. I’ve read Faulkner, I know how this ends.
14. Alandra might confess her feelings right back and ruin the whole damn thing.

Tagged as: adopted sister, Argentina, Brazil, Faulkner, grandmother, mother, Oedipus, penile, rainforest, Rio, Sao Paulo