I stopped taking my dog up in the air duct with me when he got too big to turn left toward my parents’ room. My cat won’t go up there with me at all, and my little brother gets claustrophobic in the bathroom stalls at school. Lately I’ve been sleeping up there by myself. I’m not spying on anyone and I can’t hear people in other rooms. I like to imagine that I’m tucked tight into a cannon, waiting for the assistant to light the fuse and shoot me toward the net hundreds of yards away. My name is The Great Rubini and in these dreams I have a mustache and two sons with mustaches and a wife who makes us all fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches and we never go to church. Mostly we just swim in my pool and do cannonballs off the diving board. Except we don’t call them cannonballs.
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the great rubini??? i know the great rubini!