Come Tie My Ascot, Please

I'm sorry. I should have asked you nicely. You're right. That sounded more like a command than a request. You're right. I'm the one who needs your help, and I shouldn't have used that tone. Yes, it's the same tone I use when I'm being impatient, and it won't make me any new friends. You're completely justified to ignore me. Yes, I can wait for you. I'm on your schedule because without you, my ascot will remain untied. I am at your mercy. And, yes, there's a larger issue at stake. One of respect. Perhaps this calls for flowers? A large bouquet of all your favorites. Lilies with the stamens removed. What more can I say? I've learned my lesson. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Yes, I realize that's slightly morbid, but you're the part about the honey. What's it going to take? Must I bleed by my own hand? That would entirely defeat the purpose of this ascot. I'm sorry. I was raised to be haughty and I take full responsibility. I promise never to take you for granted. Please. Here I am...on my knees...begging. Do you want me on my stomach? I'll get on my stoma-- Thank you.

Tagged as: apology, ascot, begging, tie