Acknowledgements

First and foremost, the author wishes to thank her parents who forced her to read about the Bolshevik Revolution when the other girls her age were sneaking into movies and playing Bloody Mary at sleepovers. She also thanks her first boyfriend, Ron, for his unyielding faith in the impossibility of succeeding without connections. She would like to thank her first girlfriend (who will remain anonymous) for introducing her to Medjool dates and Italian cinema and, of course, the greatest sex of her life. The author thanks her editor for cutting all the best parts in favor of the more straight-forward, more mundane passages that the reader has endured. The author thanks her grandfather who, all those years ago, bought her a pair of boys’ cowboy boots and taught her (ironically) that gender identity is influenced more by social constructs than biological ones. And finally, the author wishes to thank her high school phys. ed. teacher who defended her in front of the other kids when a boy made fun of her for not shaving her legs, and the phys. ed. teacher made fun of the boy for not shaving his face, ever. The phys. ed. teacher received a two-day suspension without pay, and the author swore she’d vindicate him in her first publication.

Tagged as: Bloody Mary, Bolshevik Revolution, phys. ed., shaving