How to Survive a 3-Way with Alfred Hitchcock

March 8, 2010

Breathe out of your mouth.

When in doubt, lean into it.

Pace yourself.

No harnesses.

Make eye-contact before you pivot.

Keep it clean…unless he wants it messy. If he wants it messy, then make it as messy as you can stand. Then, when it can’t seem to get any messier, keep going.

His safety word is Raskolnikov.

Fast beforehand.

Pinch anything but the jowls.

Hum when your mouth is on things.

Make sure to distribute your attention evenly, never giving yourself fully to one person…unless it’s him.

No Cockney accents.

Whatever you’re doing, make sure he can see it.

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