From the monthly archives:

April 2010

Assorted Comments from the Sniper Course Evaluation

April 15, 2010

“Honestly, I wish we would have spent more time on face painting.” “I thought we were going to be able to use the phrase kill-shot more than we did.” “Sniping has been a part of my family since WWII. I can’t say I learned anything that I didn’t already know–aside from the face-painting.” “I couldn’t [...]

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My Endless Pool

April 14, 2010

Having come into a large sum of money, I spent a significant amount of it on an extravagance known as an “Endless Pool.” In case you’re not familiar with the name, an Endless Pool is, in effect, a small pool which propels water toward you as you swim, offering resistance to your forward motion and [...]

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Cyril Cavendish 1917-1989

April 13, 2010

Cyril Robert Cavendish went to Our Lord yesterday from a cot in his daughter’s house, surrounded by his family. The cot was provided by his daughter’s husband, Clark Thorne, who asked around the neighborhood when it appeared his father-in-law would be coming to die at his house. Several neighbors offered cots and mattresses, but only [...]

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You Call That a Handshake?

April 12, 2010

Don’t you know about web-on-web? That place between your thumb and forefinger. That’s your damn web. Put that up tight against another man’s web. Be hearty about it, but not too aggressive. You’re not fixing to get mounted. Then shake hands like you’ve got a gun in your car. Get it together man. I know a [...]

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Three-Legged Dad

April 11, 2010

My dad has three legs, so we can’t compete with one another in the three-legged race. He’s his own team. He always wins. There’s always been talk about having one leg removed, but he says he doesn’t want to have to choose. Imagine having to pick between which leg you would want taken off, he [...]

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Stop Messing With My Horse!

April 10, 2010

Who’s blowing that fucking dog whistle?

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Cream Cheese After the Funeral

April 9, 2010

Your grandmother sat next to me at the funeral reception. She was eating cream cheese by the spoonful as if everyone ate cream cheese this way, as if it were more like cottage cheese. I didn’t say much because we had already made small talk in church when people were finding their seats. I went [...]

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Interview with The Murky Fringe Editors [Part 2]

April 8, 2010

Cassie Deever and Rachel Tate have been neck deep in The Murky Fringe for several years now, sending strange emails back and forth to one another since their early college years. They sent riffs and thoughts and small bits of fiction or poetry with the sole intention of making the other laugh. Mostly they were successful. [...]

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Interview with The Murky Fringe Editors [Part 1]

April 7, 2010

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A Man Answers His 12-Year-Old Daughter’s Questions About Lolita

April 6, 2010

Well, there’s a girl on the cover because the main character is in love with her. His name is Humbert Humbert. Yes, it’s the same word. No, he’s not her age, he’s older. Much older. No, more like 37. Well, I’m 41 so it’s a little different. Yes, she’s about your age–in the beginning. Later [...]

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Explaining the 7 Deadly Sins

April 5, 2010

Greed: Not sharing your underwear with your uncle, even though you have 14 pair and he has 3 with no place to wash them because “he didn’t make good choices” as your dad says. Gluttony: Washing down a food orgy of roasted chicken and lamb chops with a bucket of chocolate pudding. Lust: Desiring a [...]

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Rules for My Boyfriend When Meeting My Father

April 4, 2010

1. When shaking his hand, put your off-hand on his shaking hand, providing a snug shake-pillow. Hold for one to two beats, then release your hands gently. This will show him that you’re committed, that you’re brave enough to put two hands to his one. My father is a huge man and few people do [...]

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Mrs. William Howard Taft Sets the Record Straight

April 3, 2010

History will remember my husband for his years in the White House, for his much publicized split with Teddy Roosevelt, for the incredible story concocted by H.L. Menken that my husband became stuck in his own bath tub–as if such a thing were possible. But few outside of our family will ever know of the [...]

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Announcement at The Jacksonville Community Theatre Production of The Bacchae

April 2, 2010

When Pentheus is ripped limb from limb by the Bacchants, there will be blood splatter on the first two rows. Perhaps the third. The theater has provided small umbrellas to shield these rows during this scene, though the we cannot be responsible for splatter reaching the fourth and beyond. Thank you.

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