Jameel: a toaster-sized cube of Velveeta
Susan: that smug motherfucker who reclassified Pluto
Bobbie: any horse who's looking down (horses bite people)
Claire: I just pretend to be Reggie Roby punting in the 4th quarter
Hannah: a cloud of rainbow glitter
Dakota: sea anemones and cantaloupe
Cleo: Clarence Darrow's agnosticism
* Rockettes are strictly forbidden from visualizing human scrotums.