Parallel Oscar Universe: 1986

Best Picture: Witness Nominees: Out of Africa, Kiss of the Spider Woman, Prizzi's Honor, The Color Purple Excerpt from Director's Acceptance Speech: Peter Weir: "And, of course, I'd like to thank the Amish for welcoming us all into their closed community. That couldn't have been easy. And if any of you had TVs, I think you'd see putting up with us was worth it." Guy Who Lost Oscar Bet to Sister: Didn't anybody fucking see Prizzi's Honor? Whoopi Goldberg Internal Monologue: Does reincarnation only allow for rebirth in future lives? Could I come back as Douglas MacArthur? Or just some single child in China 2051. Harrison Ford to Robert Redford at Oscar After-Party: "You owe me chicken and waffles." Robert Redford to Harrison Ford at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles (4am): "Don't save the bones for your dogs. Jesus, Harry." Waitress at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles to Harrison Ford (4:45am): "I'm not wrapping these up for you if you're going to give them to your dogs." Harrison Ford to Waitress and Robert Redford (4:47am): "You can't stop me from putting these in my pockets!" Robert Redford to Waitress (4:48am): "Can we just get the check."

Tagged as: Amish, China in the future, Harrison Ford, Oscar, Out of Africa, Peter Weir, Prizzi's Honor, Robert Redford, Whoopi Goldberg