I thought this might be a fun way to find out you're being dumped.
I’m sure you’d prefer that I told you this (Body Part) to (Body Part), but I’m really not invested enough in our future (Type of Relationship) to give too much of a (Noun).
I would like to, though, provide you with a few (Plural Noun) as to why I’ve made the decision I’ve made, in the (Adjective) hope that you might somehow profit from it in future (Plural Noun). (Deity) knows you need all the (Noun) you can get.
Your laugh sounds like two (Plural Type of Animal) (Verb Ending in -Ing). I would rather (Verb) a (Mentally Limiting Medical Condition) (Noun) than hear your (Noun) even once more. And nobody–nobody–finds your (Adjective)-ass job interesting. Talking about it only makes you (Sense Verb) really (Verb Turned Into Adjective by Adding -Ing) stupid. Even now, (Verb Ending in -Ing) about you, and it, makes me feel like I’m being (Verb Ending in -En) from.
There are (Plural Noun) of your self that you can’t do anything about. I know that. The annoying (Noun) you make when you’re (-Ing Verb), for instance, or your minuscule (Noun). Your (Gender)-Pattern (Noun Ending in -Ness), for another instance. Or, for yet a third and perhaps (Adjective) (Adjective) example, your (Verb Ending in -Ed)-up, preternatural relationship with your (Female Relative).
On (Ordinal Number) thought, you probably could do something about that last one.
