To-Dos:
Find a glass of water and a sturdy chair
Call someone you trust and ask for two slices of white bread, more water, and three Aleve
Turn your phone off and wait for fifteen minutes or so
Not-To-Dos:
Call your ex-girlfriend and tell her what you really think
Eat peanut butter-filled pretzels
Perform your famous “touchdown dance” on your way down the stairs between 3rd floor and 2nd floor
Tell paramedics to fuck themselves when they’re strapping you to the spinal injury board
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Man I wish I had read this yesterday. Any ideas on what to do about the crackhead zombies from across the street that want to borrow my Chore Boy, but never return them? Headshot or dismemberment?