...and they would turn from the thing itself, back to the shadow on the wall.
“Uncle” Ray: Here you go buddy. An honest-to-God fire helmet.
Timmy: …
“Uncle” Ray: Let’s just get this strapped on.
Timmy’s Mom: What do we say, Timmy?
Timmy: …
“Uncle” Ray: What’s the matter, Timmy?
Timmy’s Mom: It’s nothing, Ray.
“Uncle” Ray: I mean, you’re gonna be the coolest kid on the playground. This is a real fire helmet. It’s been in actual fires. See that right there? That’s where a flaming beam came down on me. This helmet saved my life. How cool is that?
Timmy: It smells like sweat. And it’s heavy.
Timmy’s Mom: Timmy! That’s no way to act. You apologize to Ray.
“Uncle” Ray: I mean, if you don’t want it, Timmy, I can give it to some other kid. Somebody who might appreciate it more.
Timmy’s Mom: Ray, no. It’s just, it takes him a little while to adjust to things.
Timmy: James McElroy has one with a light on the top. It flashes and makes a siren sound.
“Uncle” Ray: It flashes and makes a siren sound? Will it protect his head in temperatures up to 1300 degrees? Will it absorb over 300 pounds of weight being dropped on it? I seriously, seriously doubt it. I don’t know him, but this James McElroy sounds like a complete dumb-ass. Just like you. It’ll probably take you a while to figure that out, but.
Timmy’s Mom: Ray!
“Uncle” Ray: Congratulations, Ellen. You’re raising a retard.
Pride and Joy of James McElroy, complete dumb-ass.
