Figure, you get some wood grain paneling, a weight bench and a sofa-bed, you've got yourself a pretty bitching bachelor pad.
Uncle Delbert: He knew my Uncle Ricky back since high school. I’ve never seen him blink, and I don’t think he bathes.
Uncle Ricky: Used to play Army Men with my Uncle Chip in middle school. That was about the last schooling Uncle Ricky had except for, as he says, “the school of getting kicked in the nuts repeatedly by life and the police.”
Uncle Chip: Is apparently my third cousin on my Uncle Reggie’s side. His real name is Curtis. He just laughs real weird and smells his fingers when I ask him how come people call him Chip.
Uncle Reggie: Is actually my father, apparently, but he and my mom were about fifteen when I was born, so they pretended my grandparents were my parents and he was my uncle. I’ve tried calling him Daddy since finding out, but whenever I do, he just goes down to the basement and doesn’t come out for a week. There isn’t a bathroom down there, so I guess maybe he goes poop in a bucket.
