The Landmark Decision in Bros V. Hoes

Frank and Jesse, in happier times.

Alls I’m saying is, I saw her first.

You’re a bank robber, a secessionist, and a liar, Frank. And only one of those is an affront to the lord.

You weren’t even born the first time I seen her.

That don’t make a damn bit of difference, Frank. Not one lick.

Don’t you go to cussing me, Jesse. Not unless you want me to take a switch to you.

I see you going for that peach tree yonder, and I’m a gonna slap iron. I ain’t fooling with you.

Getting a bit big for your britches, aren’t you Jesse? Everbody else might think you’re some all-fired big bug, but I was there the first time we done a bank. I was there the first time we done a train. I seen the crotch of your trousers darkening, right through your union suit.

Don’t you say union around me, Frank James. They’s longhandles, and you wear them too.

So I took your intended out for a ride in the horse and carriage. There weren’t nothing to it. And I’m your brother, so in any case it’s her you ought to be running your mouth at if you think there was any impropriety. Which I’m not saying there was.

I’m your brother, Frank. Brothers ought not to act like this. And she’s your first cousin.

That there’s a two-way street, Jesse. I am your brother. And she’s your cousin too.