Not my actual family
Samuel was born first.
Sally came next, was second, and has herpes.
Shaundra was third, and has a powerful thirst (for grain alcohol).
Silvio and Silas are fourth and fifth, ten minutes apart, Silas a surprise, and also has herpes*
Samantha was born after Silvio and Silas, loves Miley Cyrus, and is the absolute worst.**
Saul was born and mother wept, because seven children was seven more than she ever wanted to have.
Then I was born, only a couple of months after Saul turned one, and only a couple of months before mother went away and we were put into foster care.
* Silas does not have herpes, but there is very little that rhymes with herpes besides herpes. Which, it could be argued, doesn’t technically rhyme with itself, but if it’s good enough for Kanye and Lil’ Wayne, it’s good enough for me.
** Samantha is not the absolute worst, Sally is. But she does love Miley Cyrus.
