1. Getting a receipt wet and sticking it onto the side of my mug
2. Calling out loudly “Who’s got The Marth up in here?”
3. Saying to the attractive woman next to me, who probably isn’t looking at mug until I’m holding it up in front of her, “I only have convicted felons on my environmentally conscious mugs.”
4. Urinating in the mug and writing “Our justice system” on the side with a Sharpie
5. Saying to the barista, “Hey bro. Oh check it out, that Martha Stewart shit on that mug is sick, ain’t it? Fuckin hipsters are like six months from catching on to shit like this. Boom.”
6. Throwing it off a bridge
Stop pissing in my mug, you piece of shit
