What would be the harm?
There would be plenty of potential harm, I assure you.
Are you afraid of success, Cassie? Is that what this…
No, Rachel. I am not afraid of success. I am afraid of failure. Which this would be. An instance of.
I just thought maybe we could send out a query. Just to find out if it’s possible. What might be involved.
The pictures.
Exactly. The pictures. What would “Sometimes I like to do Crow’s Pose in my Jeans” be without a picture of a guy doing Crow’s Pose in his jeans? Or…
I’ve been meaning to edit that one, Cass. I think it’s Crow Pose. It’s not the Crow’s Pose. It doesn’t belong to him. You are emulating the crow when you thusly pose. Is I think the point.
The crow could be a lady crow. It could not belong to her.
Also, that post was called “Sometimes I do Crow’s Pose In My Jeans.”
Now that you’re saying it, it sounds like a euphemism for shitting yourself. Like, “I’ve got to go home now. I did Crow Pose in my jeans.”
…what about “Argument About the Meaning of Richard’s Latest Handstand?”
Actually, I read that one the other day and thought what it might be like for a blind person to read it. And it was hilarious. Even more so, maybe.
What?
You know, if they couldn’t see the picture. And were reading it in Braille?
See? That’s constructive. We could publish a Braille edition and a regular edition.
Sighted. Is what I think the blind refer to non-Braille books as.
Good thing Cassie’s not blind. It’d be called “Sighted’s.”
I’m pretty sure I could see just how huge a bitch you are even if my eyes had withered in my skull as a child.
The slang, I believe, is smoothies. Also, they call us sighted folks lookies.
Could we at least talk about target markets?
Hey, buy this book for that one friend of yours who you already bought all of David Sedaris’s stuff for. Because you don’t actually know anything about them other than they read and maybe David Sedaris is funny.
That’s not constructive.
I remember you saying something, Rachel, about our superiority to the print world. About how no trees had to die for us to entertain ourselves and maybe others.
I literally never said that.
Literally can now mean, according to the dictionary, due to the democratic effects of misuse, either literally or figuratively.
The five dollar table at Urban Outfitters. Right next to “Stuff White People Like” and “Shit my Dad Says.” That’s another place we should probably expect this book you’re suggesting to be. Our target market is dumbasses at Borders…
Amazon. Nobody goes to Borders or B &N anymore.
And dumbasses at Urban Outfitters.
You shop at Urban Outfitters.
The sale rack. Only. Ever. And fuck you. Nobody that shops at For Never 21 gets to call me out on Urban Outfitters.
Can I take this as a no, then?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Coming soon to a 75% off table near you!
