Heat Lamped Goodness
Amanda, I really don’t mind you coming by–it’s pretty boring here after about eleven–but…
What is it, Brian? We’re friends. You can tell me anything.
Every time I do inventory after you come in, the numbers are off. But only on tampons, cough syrup, and cigarettes.
Are you accusing me of stealing, Brian?
No. What I’m saying is that when you don’t come by to see me, my number aren’t off, and when you do, they are. That’s all.
Do you not want me to come see you anymore? Is that it? Because I sure don’t want to be anywhere I’m not welcome.
I guess if I knew how you felt about me it might be different.
You’re the sweetest guy I know, Brian. And if I weren’t dating Damian, I would totally go out with you. Anybody would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend.
That’s another thing I wanted to talk about, actually. I know you guys are together, but could you not come here with him? He kind of acts like a jerk.
What do you mean?
Well, like when he opened the dispenser nozzle on the Slush Puppy machine and left it running. I had to mop up Cherry Blast Slush Puppy for like an hour after y’all were gone. And Ron got on me in the morning.
You didn’t tell Ron that Damian did it, did you?
Of course not.
Good. Because Damian gets totally aggro when people accuse him of things.
I know that. Pretty much everyone in town knows that. He hospitalized his father…
Stepfather.
…Stepfather when he accused him of wrecking his car. Which he did, right?
It was how he came at him. You can’t come at Damian about things. Which is why I would suggest not talking to him about the Slush Dog thing.
Slush Puppy.
Whatever.
Also, I can’t give you guys the food I throw out at midnight. Ron said so.
Why not? I’m totally starved, and that broasted chicken and those corny dogs are just going to go to waste.
If you guys ate the food, it wouldn’t be a problem, probably.
Is this about Damian and Little Jay throwing all that food at the windows?
No. It’s about throwing the food at the windows and my cleaning up mashed chicken and jojo taters and fried burritos, and then you saying if I gave you guys the food they wouldn’t do it again, and then they did. And then the third time…
That third time shouldn’t count. They were ‘shrooming.
I love you, Amanda. There. I said it. You can do whatever you want about it, but I think you deserve better than Damian, and I want to be that guy.
If you thought cleaning up Slush Doggy…
Puppy.
…and that gross-ass fried chicken was bad, you’re really gonna hate cleaning up your own blood and teeth.
