Edwin, refusing to roll into a ball at parties.
Edwin, refusing to fly coach.
Edwin, getting drunk and bemoaning the death of apartheid.
Edwin, espousing ill-informed libertarian views.
Edwin, calling our next-door neighbor’s teenage daughter late at night.
Edwin, asking our next-door neighbor’s teenage daughter what flavor her panties are.
Edwin, reminding her that pangolins have incredibly long tongues.
Edwin, then making that creepy sucking sound like Dr. Lecter on Silence of the Lambs.
Edwin, pronouncing Africa Ehh-free-keh, like an Afrikaners.
Edwin, pretending like he’s even been to Africa.
Edwin, taking pictures of his junk and posting it on my Facebook account.
Edwin, pretending the next day that he has no recollection of any of it.
