The Murky Fringe: You represent everything that’s wrong with sushi today.
Imitation Crab Meat: And you’re an expert on sushi.
TMF: No, I’m an expert in things that strive to be what they’re not.
ICM: I never said I was crab.
TMF: People assume you are.
ICM: Whose fault is that?
TMF: Well it’s not Trader Joe’s.
ICM: Let me ask you a question: why me? Why not, say, liquid smoke or Pringles?
TMF: Because I don’t like you very much. And Pringles, although a gimmick, never said they were filet mignon.
ICM: People pick on imitation crab meat before they’ve tasted it. In blind test-tastes, we come out even with crab.
TMF: Now you’re deceiving people.
ICM: They’re deceiving themselves. Besides, we’re not exactly breaking anyone’s bank.
TMF: [Rubbing shoulder]
ICM: Is something wrong.
TMF: It’s just these genuine muscles get sore sometimes. You know how it feels…oh wait.
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Wowface.