“Excuse me, General? Are you done with that Sports Illustrated?”
[Silence]
“It’s just that you have two of them, but you’re only reading one.”
[Silence]
“Could I trade you two dimes and a nickel for a quarter?”
[Silence]
“I’m just trying to get some M&Ms and it only takes quarters.”
[Silence]
“We could split them. They’re the peanut kind.”
“Which one’s yours? The black Chevy?”
“Mine’s the Corolla. I don’t buy domestic anymore.”
[Silence]
“Would you mind saving my seat while I go to the restroom?”
“You just have to say it’s taken if someone comes in and tries to sit down.”
[Silence]
“Cool?”
“Thanks.”
[Silence.]
[Muffled flushing.]
[Muffled faucet running.]
“Hey General, what’s a guy gotta do to get a Sports Illustrated around here, huh?”
“I’m kidding.”
“No, seriously.”
