What’s that you say, sir?
Well, no.
That is to say, I’m not sure. I’ve never heard of anyone drinking this elixir and recovering their generative vitality.
What’s that ma’am? No. I don’t believe it will remove unwanted hair. That’s not really what it’s for.
Yes sir?
No sir. I do not believe it will make you stronger. I mean, there’s a German Philosopher that says “that which does not kill you makes you stronger,” and from that vantage, you’ve got about a 85% chance of getting stronger.
No sir. It will not give you the strength of a wild African gorilla. Or even the strength of a tame gorilla from some other place.
Well sir, you ask a good question. Here’s the answer:
Mostly, it makes you void your bowels. Violently and without cease.
Sometimes also it makes you, you know, purgate.
No sir, that’s not how you know it’s working. That’s just the work it does.
I really can’t recommend any of you buy this stuff.
Wouldn’t your money be better spent on winter clothing or better shoes for your children? Or even shoes for your children?
No, we don’t have any entertainment.
There was a strongman, but he drank some of this here elixir and died.
No sir. That does not recommend it. That does exactly the opposite of recommend it.
I literally cannot believe how stupid you people are.
No sir. This here elixir will not make you smarter.
Yes, I am sure.
No ma’am. That is not a hard sell. That is the plain truth.
What part of violent bowel evacuation and/or purgation and/or death don’t you understand?
Okay, fine. Two bits a bottle. Who’s first?
