It's not Three Loko, it's Four Loko. And four rhymes with pour. And floor. And shit your pants twice more.
Editor 2: I don’t like it. It makes us look weak. Like we need backup.
Editor 1: We’re expanding. That’s what this is. We’re diversifying our, you know, portfolio of talent.
Editor 3: That sounds like something you made up right then. Portfolio of talent? What are we, pimps?
E1: We are not pimps. We are not pimps and we are not players. We don’t push big body Benzes. We aren’t rolling on dubs.
E2: We don’t need backup. Nothing against this James Best guy, I’m sure he’s funny and all…
E1: We’ve published his stuff a few times now.
E2: I only read my days.
E3: You read your own days?
E2: Yes. For inspiration, and to see how I’m progressing, I read my own days.
E3: Solipsistic vortex much?
E1: With four of us…
E2: Three is a magic number. Remember that? From Sesame Street?
E1: With four of us…
E2: The three musketeers. Three.
E1: There were four of them. There were four musketeers. Have you not read…
E2: I only read my own stuff. Ever.
E3: Two for all, and one all for himself. And James Best.
E1: With four of us, we can spend more time on our individual pieces.
E2: And if we were going to bring a fourth wheel on…
E3: Repurposing that particular aphorism doesn’t do your case any favors.
E2: …why this James Best guy? Why not, say…
E1: Who?
E2: I don’t know… that McSweeney’s guy. I hear he’s funny.
E1: You don’t read…
E2: Only me. Ever.
E1: I don’t think we’re going to get the McSweeney’s guy. I don’t think Dave Eggers…
E2: Dave Eggers? That’s an even worse name than James Best.
E1: I don’t think Dave Eggers is going to become our fourth musketeer. Among other reasons, because James Best is already our fourth musketeer.
James Best: Fuck’s sake, you guys. I’m right here.
E1: Shut up, James Best. Nobody told you it was okay to talk. You’re still on probation. Drink.
