From the monthly archives:

August 2012

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August 30, 2012


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he or anyone else is at home, perhaps bunched together on the couch I bought but he still owns spooning cheap, ordering FRISIUM online, Cheap FRISIUM, icy Dryers ice cream from the carton.

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Nor will I purchase  Dryers ice cream and rub it on my body in Frank’s home or my own, though these homes were once one in the same, and that is worth mentioning again, FRISIUM FOR SALE. FRISIUM dangers, If I do buy Dryers ice cream and rub it on my body I will not lick it off, saying ma petite fleur, where can i find FRISIUM online, FRISIUM brand name, ma petite fleur, ma petite fleur, is FRISIUM addictive. FRISIUM blogs,  when what I mean is vagina. But if I can absolutely not help myself, FRISIUM for sale, I will not do this rubbing and such while approximating Frank’s carnal, stirring  voice with the skills I gleaned from the ventriloquist class that I took last winter. Nor will I put to use the yoga training that has made me so flexible as to have practically rendered the real Frank utterly superfluous, and in fact, far from my mind, but still very much in need of me, if you he would just realize how indispensable I am.

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August 28, 2012

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And if people did cause the earth to get warmer, which it isn't, and which they didn't, then we probably staved off an ice age. We're right on track for an ice age, have been since 1963. We'd be fighting off polar bears in Missouri if it wasn't for the so-called climate change we didn't cause.

Judith is my daughter, that's true. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

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August 27, 2012

BUY SIBUTRAMINE NO PRESCRIPTION, It is with pride that we present another installment of the Murky Fringe feature “In Their Own Words.” If you’re the kind of person who likes freedom and justice then we can only imagine you remember the last installment, ‘The Things I Like About Post Falls, Idaho.’ Now, for this week’s feature:

“The Things I Like About Prescott, Arizona”

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Bryce Walker, my SIBUTRAMINE experience, Under Director, Inner Arizona Sunshine Radio: Listen, this was the capital of the Arizona Territory, okay. Do you understand that. I mean, yes, it was only the capital for a short time. Three years. In the 1860s, BUY SIBUTRAMINE NO PRESCRIPTION. But goddamnit, it never changed for us. Tucson is just a word in the sky if you ask anyone from Prescott. Just a word in the sky.

Betsy McNamara, Mayor of Prescott: I’ll bet my horse on this town. And I think people like that. People like knowing that their mayor would bet her horse on them. People probably don’t really understand what that means, me betting my horse on them, or how I’d actually win or lose the bet, and who might be judges, and how the horse would be divvied up if I did lose. But I think they like it.

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August 25, 2012

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I digress.  Yes, MERIDIA interactions, Purchase MERIDIA online no prescription, a sniper.  With a real gun that could possibly kill or hit a sensitive area.  What are we going to do?  Well, do our Feathercloud best not to get executed, get MERIDIA, Herbal MERIDIA, Cindy!  We’re not here to die!  We’re here to live!  We’re here to get better and move on in our new shape.  We are shaping ourselves for the future.  And the hell I’m going to let a dropout’s bullet stop me.

Now it seems our cellphone free Lake Walk was a little hasty.  We sure could use some technology to get the cops here.  Counselor Timothy went for his cell but I’m guessing by the whimpering I keep hearing by the Mess Hall he tried to get a low fat snack on the way.  Counselor Timothy has had twelve lapendectomies and he’s a tough sunovagun.  So let’s not worry about him, buy generic MERIDIA. Online MERIDIA without a prescription, Bettylou, you’ve lost the most weight this camp cycle and won the 50 meter dash so I think you’re our best chance.  Don’t cry, MERIDIA no prescription, My MERIDIA experience, baby.  You can do this.  We all believe in you.  I’d go but my hip is bad.  And lunchtime is approaching and I can already see Rico is eating his shirt.  We’re going to have a full on stampede in a few minutes.  You are our only hope, Bettylou, MERIDIA online cod. MERIDIA long term, Alright, everyone we need to create a distraction so Bettylou can have a better chance.  Yes, MERIDIA canada, mexico, india, MERIDIA no rx, Jeff, that will draw the sniper fire over here.  That will be putting us in danger.  But we’re sacrificing for the whole.  You wouldn’t know about that, MERIDIA over the counter, MERIDIA description, Jeff, because you’ve been hiding Whatchamacallits in your bunk.  And you never shared once did you?  Forget it, MERIDIA class, Buy MERIDIA online no prescription, Bettylou.  Jeff is running now.

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August 23, 2012

 


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August 17, 2012

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August 16, 2012

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Women Writers of a Certain Age

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Stroking Your Sestina, where can i order DIFLUCAN without prescription, DIFLUCAN dosage, Validating your Villanelle***

Writers in Search of (the) Craft: On Fairuza Balk, memoir and using the occult to find your voice

When I Wasn’t Crying, where can i cheapest DIFLUCAN online, Cheap DIFLUCAN no rx, I Was Laughing: How to hit all the emotions and why feelings matter

The Collapse of Your Novel or the Collapse of You?: How to Tell the Difference

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Maintaining Separate Identities: I Think I'm Becoming One of My Chararacters (and I don't like him very much)

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Wilderness Writing for the Agoraphobe: Perfecting Your Craft from Inside the Belly of an Elk

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Non-material Matters: Writing About Nothing and Making It Necessary**

 

*all panels are 4 hours, unless otherwise noted

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***part one of two, both must be attended

 

 

Check out the fun from last year's event!!!
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August 12, 2012

Written by Chaz Mumphries GEODON FOR SALE, and Rick Turnyard, Visionary of Hamport!

STEP 1:  So You Acquired a Seagoing Vessel

Well, ahoy, Captain.  That’s right.  That’s you. GEODON from canada, You own a ship now and people have to call you that.  If they don’t, you can enact maritime law on them.  Hang them from the mizzenmast.  Make them kiss your cutlass.  Woah, GEODON recreational, Generic GEODON, woah, what’s a mizzenmast, order GEODON from United States pharmacy, Fast shipping GEODON, Chaz. And can I actually wield a cutlass in this modern era, GEODON price. Buy GEODON online no prescription, We’ll get to that I promise.  You’re going to love being a captain.  It gets you tons of ladies.  And mermaids.  Don’t flip ahead, Captain.  We’ll get to the hot fish mamas, online GEODON without a prescription. GEODON photos, Warning in two paragraphs!

But first thing is first.  You have a new seaborn baby.  And you’ve got to name her.  Things need names.  If things aren’t named, they get angry or die.  I had a cactus I forgot to name.  It got real surly, GEODON description. The other thing happened to that nameless orphan I bought, GEODON FOR SALE. Purchase GEODON online, Now let me take you step by step through the complexity of naming your galleon.  Next paragraph is the warning!

Boat-namer. My name is Rick Turnyard, no prescription GEODON online. GEODON pictures,  I am the editor of Hamport’s pamphlets. I have inserted messages into this text to warn you.  A reckoning is coming to Hamport.  You must believe me.  I am constricted by the pamphlet format but know that the sea hides something wicked. 

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STEP 3: Gathering The Shoutwords Into a Coherent Ship Name

You didn’t know this was going to get so freaking mystical, huh?  You thought you could just name your boat “Vitamin Sea” and get some illegal to hand paint that mammajamma.  Didn’t know you could use the word ‘mammajamma’ either, GEODON price, coupon, Where can i buy cheapest GEODON online, huh?  Well, the sea is a different place.  It will drag you down and impregnate you!

So let’s say you shouted the words “Weekend” and “Geekaway”.  Boom!  There’s your ship name.  It’s clever.  It came from your word bowels and it describes you.  Only your words could have done that.  It made it true, effects of GEODON. Even if you’re a man.  Those monsters will put a womb inside you.  You’ll be a baby trench monster carrier!

Let’s try other word combos.  Let’s say you shouted “Deep Blue” and “C-3PO”.  Well, that sucks.  That’s an inexact pun.  But let’s say you were a popsicle magnate like Chaz and you yelled, “Life” and “Is But a Dreamsicle” then holy snowcones, you’ve got a top notch punny nautical ship name!  The ocean wants to recreate the movie Waterworld!

Why am I not shoving every white space full of info on the sea monsters?  Well, I am an editor first.  I can’t just fill the negative space with my propaganda and upset the visual balance of the pamphlet, can I, GEODON FOR SALE. Cheap GEODON,  We’re not a lawless white space ignoring ocean zone full of raping trench demons.  Not yet.

STEP 4: Cast off, Captain, where can i buy GEODON online. GEODON dangers, I’m real proud of you.  I wish I could hug you.  But I can’t.  I’ll probably be dead by the time you read this pamphlet.  Chaz has some crazy depression issues and he just wants to drive “Life Is But a Dreamsicle” into the deep blue and propose to some mermaid.  Maybe there’s not mermaids out there.  Maybe that’s just Chaz off the lithium seeing fishbabes.  That makes the Chazster even more bummed.   Those mermaids were the trench monsters! 

But you named a ship.  That’s more than most men.  I named three.  And that’s more than you.  Captain Chaz out.  Chaz was never heard from again, GEODON over the counter. Monstered!

Every Thursday at 10, me and three believers drive my boat out into the deep and shoot machine guns into the water.  If you want in, bring your own automatic weapon.  I can’t just be loaning them out all the time.  See you Thursday.  Maybe we can use your boat sometime!.

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