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In Their Own Words

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August 27, 2012

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“The Things I Like About Prescott, Arizona”

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Betsy McNamara, Mayor of Prescott: I’ll bet my horse on this town. And I think people like that. People like knowing that their mayor would bet her horse on them. People probably don’t really understand what that means, me betting my horse on them, or how I’d actually win or lose the bet, and who might be judges, and how the horse would be divvied up if I did lose. But I think they like it.

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July 19, 2012

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February 3, 2012

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August 17, 2011


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June 20, 2011

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“The Things I Like About Post Falls, Idaho”

As always, these are testimonials of true residents.

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We here at the IAVS are busy answering real questions, and don't have time to respond to all the hormonally, taking PLENDIL, socially, Purchase PLENDIL online, and emotionally challenged teen girls (and a surprising number of teen boys) that want to know about vampire babies. Please let this suffice.

Among the questions we are working on are:

If a woman is pregnant at the time of her turning from human to vampire, kjøpe PLENDIL på nett, köpa PLENDIL online, does the fetus also turn. PLENDIL blogs, (Yes, if the fetus is in the second trimester. Before that, the body rejects it, BUY PLENDIL NO PRESCRIPTION. Take that, buy cheap PLENDIL, right-to-vampire-baby-lifers.)

If the woman is pregnant at the time of her turning, Comprar en línea PLENDIL, comprar PLENDIL baratos, does she stay pregnant with a vampire baby in her belly forever. (She would, probably, about PLENDIL, but we remove them. PLENDIL cost, And no, the woman doesn't develop another vampire baby in her belly. Also, online buy PLENDIL without a prescription, no, Get PLENDIL, the vampire fetus doesn't develop another mother around it once removed. BUY PLENDIL NO PRESCRIPTION, And yes, we've experimented with this phenomenon in an attempt to develop an army of vampire baby fetuses, but they're not particularly well-adapted for life--mobility issues and whatnot, and it gets disturbing on a level you really can't imagine before too terribly long.)

Can you make a vampire with multiple arms by splitting their arms and waiting for the halves to grow back individually. (No. No octopus-armed vampires.)

If you cut a vampire perfectly in half, fast shipping PLENDIL, do the two halves grow separate vampires. (No. Cutting the heart in half results in the death of the vampire. A vampire can survive a piercing of the heart to a point, but bisection is always fatal.)

How does the vampire body know how to regrow itself, BUY PLENDIL NO PRESCRIPTION. (Frankly, we're not sure. Maybe the DNA is imprinted at the time of turning, and the body returns back to that reset as quickly as possible. Which doesn't explain, for example, how when you make a vampire out of a quadruple amputee, the vampire remains a quadruple amputee. There isn't, of course, any genetic component to the quadruple amputation--so we're still pretty stumped on this.*)

Is there no limit to the fucked up things the IAVS will study. (No. Apparently not.)

*Pardon the pun.

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The Things I Like About Sparks, Nevada

December 6, 2010

We are proud to present “In Their Own Words,” a brand new Murky Fringe feature. First up: “The Things I Like About Sparks, Nevada.” As always, these are testimonials of true residents. Alice Cockle, Lead Waitress, Empire Diner at Baldini’s: Oh, I don’t know, hon. Listen, I gotta get back. Tom Thigpen, Contractor, Thigg & Sons, [...]

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