From the category archives:

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While the judges enjoyed your use of parenthetical subtitle and the liberal use of Chewy Sweet Tarts in the recipe, they didn't think Clearasil and cut out pictures from back issues of Marie Claire made for good ingredients.

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Urban Misanthropist

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Next of Kin

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Kerosene Lantern

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The Ghost of Nell Carter

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Baseball Bat to the Xyphoid Process

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Urinate on customer's prostrate form.

Piquancy and Moth-Eaten Lace Curtains

This drink did taste like a cross between the smell at that one spinster aunt's house and an Agatha Christie novel--but not a good Agatha Christie novel.

Chilean Coal-Miner

Too soon, hijo de puta!

The Metamorphosis

Garnishing with beetle larvae prohibitively expensive for TGI Fridays and BW3 franchises

Human Degradation as Art Form

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Blue Curacao and Sloe Gin Rickey, with a twist

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How Houdini Died

Also, you can't gut-punch patrons while they're chugging a beverage; inspired but flawed.

My Humps

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The Dessicated Starfish

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Tiorracho (The Drunkle)

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Twin Towers

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Twizted Tea

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The Surreptitious Facebook De-friending

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September 18, 2011

BUY CIALIA NO PRESCRIPTION, [caption id="attachment_7177" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="After this, let's go get funnel cake."][/caption]

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PREMARIN FOR SALE

September 15, 2011

PREMARIN FOR SALE, [caption id="attachment_7156" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Let it go, Bro."][/caption]

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Fuck you. All of you. You guys are assholes.

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