From the category archives:

Song Meanings and Progeny

Unpacking “Jesse’s Girl” With My Eleven-Year-Old Son

October 23, 2012

ROMULUS (yes, I named the kid Romulus, okay? I thought it was a good, strong name. And I’d lost a couple of pints of blood and was stoned to the bejeebus belt on narcotic pain killers, and it was just me there, okay?): Is it wrong to be in love with your best friend’s girlfriend? [...]

Check out the rest →

PAXIPAM FOR SALE

November 15, 2011

PAXIPAM FOR SALE, [caption id="attachment_7536" align="aligncenter" width="325" caption="Just, it feels like you're growing up really fast."][/caption]

Hey pal, can we talk for a minute.

No, you're not in any trouble, PAXIPAM coupon.

Yes, PAXIPAM used for, I'm sure.

Just, I was walking by your room earlier and I heard something that made me think we should chat, ordering PAXIPAM online, man-to-man. Generic PAXIPAM, Well, that's the phrase for it. I know I'm your mom, PAXIPAM FOR SALE. But until your dad decides to come back from that ashram-commune thing in Minnesota--and change his name back to Albert Smith--until that day comes, order PAXIPAM from mexican pharmacy, if ever, Order PAXIPAM no prescription, then I'm your dad, too.

Just imagine me as having the same reproductive equipment as you, low dose PAXIPAM, if that helps. PAXIPAM steet value, No. Okay.

I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, You're at an age where you're coming to an understanding of yourself. How you will interact with and relate to the world, australia, uk, us, usa. It's a time when a lot of options--a seemingly endless array--are on the table. PAXIPAM pictures, You're coming to a place where you're shaping who you're going to be.

That was very confusing for me when I was your age. Which maybe wasn't as long ago as you might imagine, PAXIPAM FOR SALE.

You're trying new things, PAXIPAM mg, and not all of those things are going to be things that are good for you. PAXIPAM online cod, That's why I wanted to talk to you about what I heard when I walked by your room.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just something to be careful with, PAXIPAM gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release. Remember how we talked about how marijuana was probably mostly benign except that in its benignity it lowered your expectations of yourself and the world. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, This is maybe kind of like that. PAXIPAM from mexico, There was a movement in music, son. In the early nineties, PAXIPAM treatment. And while it was really wonderful, Herbal PAXIPAM, it spawned generations of lesser imitators. Bands like Creed. Bands like Matchbox 20, PAXIPAM FOR SALE. Bands like Third Eye Blind, PAXIPAM forum. Bands like Seven Mary Three. PAXIPAM trusted pharmacy reviews, Yes, they pretty much all have numerical components. And they're all categorically terrible, PAXIPAM schedule. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, But the most egregious, son. Is Nickelback. PAXIPAM samples, So when I heard that--

No, no. You're not in any trouble, taking PAXIPAM. Mom/Dad's voice is only raising because she/he is passionate about music. Which, I'm sorry, Nickelback is not, PAXIPAM FOR SALE. Where can i buy cheapest PAXIPAM online, Yes. That's a good place to start. You like them, order PAXIPAM from United States pharmacy. Why do you like them. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, No, you don't know. PAXIPAM from canadian pharmacy, Which is part of the problem. I will explain it to you. In music, purchase PAXIPAM for sale, there are major and minor chords. PAXIPAM overnight, Major chords make you feel uplifted and happy. Minor chords do the opposite, PAXIPAM FOR SALE. All of Nickelback's songs are in minor chords. They make you feel misunderstood without knowing why, PAXIPAM long term. They make you feel like only they understand you. PAXIPAM price, They get this from Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but that's all they're using from the whole that made Nirvana and Pearl Jam great. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, Not least of which is originality.

Well, buy PAXIPAM online cod, there's also the rough and raspy singing style, PAXIPAM recreational, but we'll leave that.

And then there's the structure of their songs. In music, there is a thing called a bridge. The bridge is the emotional pinnacle of the song. It is the place of catharsis that the band has built you up for all along, PAXIPAM FOR SALE. Usually accompanied by a change in key, which reperspectivizes the song you've heard up to that point. Then comes the denouement, a diminished Campbellian return, which sweeps up the pieces of your wrecked psyche. But the thing is, you have to be built up for the cathartic bridge. You have to put in that two minutes of work to feel resonantly cleansed by the catharsis. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, Do you remember when we talked about how the drug Ecstasy was mostly bad because it took a whole week of your good feelings and crunched it down into about a five or six hour period and left you feeling empty for the whole rest of the week.

This is kind of like that. Nickelback's songs are essentially all--every bit of every one--minor key bridges. And that's just cheating, son.

Remember how we talked about cheating. How when you'd promised to love, honor, and cherish, for instance, you either did that or you got divorced, but what you didn't do was act like some New-Age Bartleby the Scrivener, saying I would prefer to be called Baba-Gounda, PAXIPAM FOR SALE.

This is kinda like that.

Oh. Ah, yes. So sorry. PAXIPAM FOR SALE, If you were masturbating and only had the radio cranked up to cover the sounds of your exertions...

I know that's not what you said, but your mom/dad isn't going to say playing whack-a-mole to online porn...

Mom/Dad is very sorry to have bothered you.

Carry on.

Check out the rest →

SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE

September 1, 2011

SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE, [caption id="attachment_7039" align="aligncenter" width="380" caption="Colorful vest. Buy cheap SIBUTRAMINE, Hightop fade and creeper/Mini-Steve Harvey 'stache. You best believe I've got 1990 in a New Jack death grip, SIBUTRAMINE dangers, SIBUTRAMINE dose, son."][/caption]

Dad, what's he mean when he says "Understand I'm the Candyman, about SIBUTRAMINE, Order SIBUTRAMINE no prescription, and I melt in your mouth, not in your hands", SIBUTRAMINE price. SIBUTRAMINE coupon, Well, it's not a one-to-one metaphor, purchase SIBUTRAMINE online, Order SIBUTRAMINE from United States pharmacy, but what do you think he means?

That he's a good kisser.

Noo.., online buy SIBUTRAMINE without a prescription. I mean, what would hands have to do with kissing?

Well, you know, like in the old movies where the guy kisses the girl's hand, but you can tell he wants to do it with her, SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE. Where can i find SIBUTRAMINE online, You're on the right track, son, order SIBUTRAMINE from mexican pharmacy. SIBUTRAMINE online cod, The lyrics are definitely penis-oriented.

Oh. So, discount SIBUTRAMINE, SIBUTRAMINE images, is it that... well.., buy SIBUTRAMINE from mexico.

SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE, C'mon son. Buy SIBUTRAMINE no prescription, We can talk about this stuff like grown ups.

Well, just.., japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Buy SIBUTRAMINE from canada, I heard that after a guy, you know.., SIBUTRAMINE gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release. SIBUTRAMINE cost, Blows his wad. Makes the little man throw up, SIBUTRAMINE without prescription. Once the one-eyed trouser cobra spits his venom, SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE. SIBUTRAMINE without a prescription, Once he jits. Skeets, SIBUTRAMINE photos. Buying SIBUTRAMINE online over the counter, Spooges?

Ejaculates. After he ejaculates, SIBUTRAMINE mg, Buy cheap SIBUTRAMINE no rx, he goes soft. SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE, Sometimes. So maybe he's saying that she's not going to be able to make him ejaculate just with her hands, SIBUTRAMINE long term. SIBUTRAMINE interactions, I think that's it precisely, son, SIBUTRAMINE pharmacy. Good work.

Okay, but what does he mean when he says "giving it up like a good girl has to/ living it up, eventually you ask to stay/ you're going to pay for this." Do good girls have to give it up. Why does she have to pay. What is the payment, SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE.

Well, son, that's a lot of questions. But they can all be answered by a single word. And that word is misogyny.

Oh. SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE, Do you want to talk about misogyny.

I'm pretty tired from talking about ejaculating. Is it okay if I say no.

Of course, son.

Okay, no. I'm going to go to my room now and lay down, SIBUTRAMINE FOR SALE.

Are you going to your room to masturbate.

Is it okay if I don't say.

Of course, son. Although you just did.

[caption id="attachment_7041" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="In the pre-inflationary 80's, when a 12 ounce can of Olde English was still worth something, and the term "misogyny" hadn't yet been coined."][/caption].