Staff (There’s 5 of Us)

Patrick Burns, Writer/Editor/Founder When he's not working at the distillery, Patrick enjoys non-sexual role-playing as a 59 year-old pregnant woman. From Britain. This is his first rodeo in case that wasn't completely obvious.               PR Griffis, Writer/Editor PR Griffis lives in a defunct mill town in Northeastern Connecticut that 60 Minutes once dubbed "Heroin Town USA" with his wife, the writer Mika Taylor. In addition to writing for the absurdist family humor weblog The Murky Fringe, he takes pictures and is a bicycling enthusiast. The photo to the right was taken in the town where he grew up in North Central Texas, which town was once dubbed "Meth Town, Texas" by county and state law enforcement personnel. So things are looking up.             Justin McBride, Writer/Editor [caption id="attachment_3717" align="alignleft" width="210" caption="From the potential future feature film "Antennae Man""][/caption]

 Justin McBride comes to The Murky Fringe from a long familial line of box cutters. His father, Dervis McBride, was the inventor of the push-button safety lever that a man now uses to raise and lower the blade of his box cutter. Of course, Dervis was only improving upon the ingenuity of his own father and grandfather, Dempsey McBride Jr. and Sr., respectively, who brought the box cutter from its roots (a strong man’s thumbnail) to damn near what it is today. Minus the push-button safety lever, of course. That was Dervis, like I said. But that thin blade and the metal casing? The Dempseys.

Justin wishes he was an avid writer of children’s stories and also wishes he was author of a popular comic called Antennae Man, which at this point doesn't yet exist. When he’s not in The Murky Fringe’s overly cold office, he can often be found taping right angles of cardboard with wide heavy-duty tape, in silent defiance of three generations of McBride men. Well, it’s almost silent; that clear packing tape sure can be loud.

      James Best, Writer/Editor James Best likes what you like.  He wants to pander to you.  He will never make you upset.  James Best is like a happy hand on your dopamine pump.  Is that a smile?  James Best can make it into a mega-smile.  Having a hard time choosing something?  Don't worry. There's James Best.  Waiting right next to you with some suggestions.  He's always there.  He's immortal. And nearby. In case your joy ever wavers. He's got joy supports.  He's under your floorboards.  He's in your backseat.  Don't be afraid.  James Best has snacks.  He has a utility belt like Batman that's  full of crackers and glowsticks and vicodin and lime rickeys and flattering hats.  He loves you.  You should love him back.  You should or else. Or else you'll never be complete.  Because James Best will take a part of you.  But if you admit your love, he'll sew it back on.  Don't look behind you. Because there's James Best.  With a cold milkshake in one hand and hot vengeance in the other.            

Melissa Swantkowski, Writer/Editor As a child, Melissa Swantkowski was in an altercation with three large roosters. To this day it is unclear who won - the lot of them remain engaged in a perpetual round of chicken.