Posts tagged as:

birthdays

A Father Addresses His Adopted Son on Appropriate Responses to People Saying “Happy Birthday” with Air Quotes

October 16, 2011

  It depends more on the size and estimated toughness of the individual, but as a general rule, a quick punch to the neck should shut them the hell up. Then, when they’re gasping for air you say, “What’s wrong? I can’t [air quotes] hear you.  

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Metallica Won’t Be Playing Your Birthday Party Because…

June 10, 2010

Original bassist Cliff Burton died on Kirk Hammet’s birthday, and he’s been fucked up about birthdays ever since. Lars Ulrich is afraid of birthday candles. And balloons. Years of cigarettes, alcohol, and screaming have rendered James Hetfield’s vocal cords incapable of the final high note of the birthday song, and it embarrasses the shit out [...]

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