November 26, 2009
WINNER PR GRIFFIS (Austin, TX) It started when President-Probably-For-Life Chavez stole my cab in New York City the day before Thanksgiving. I mean, we made eye contact. He knew what he was doing. You can’t just nationalize a cab, I remember thinking. And maybe the God that likes democracy was smiling just a little on [...]
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October 13, 2009
Me and Hugo Chavez used to go to Machu Picchu when all the tourists were gone. He’d take off his red shirt and flex his pecs back and forth, back and forth–okay Hugo, I get it, you’re ripped, Jeez. He’s got nipples like Hershey’s Kisses. I’d crack open a few cervezas and we’d sit on [...]
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