Posts tagged as:

Jesus

Footprints in the Sand

December 9, 2010

What if I stole it? What if I stole my sister’s “Footprints in the Sand” poster and took it into the backyard and burned it? Would it cease to haunt me then? Would I not feel demeaned and taunted and/or (at the very least) not considered? The insensitivity. That’s what hurts the worst. When I [...]

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South Tulsa’s Lee Greenwood Fan Club President (1987-94) Re-Captioning His Lee Greenwood Photo Collection After a Disappointing Interaction

September 22, 2010

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Things I Refuse to Do with My Light Brite…(and the Reasons Why)

May 30, 2010

Share it with poor kids…(get your own Light Brite!) Make the Irish flag…(I don’t believe in secession.) Take it to gay bars…(the Light Brite don’t go outside my house.) Turn it on in the closet…(what do you think I am, a Muslim?) Spell words like “courage”…(man, fuck spelling!) Make a portrait of Jesus…(as soon as [...]

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Jesus Waders

May 21, 2010

People will disagree with me on this, but I say that if Jesus were a fly fisherman, he would definitely wear waders. Of course, this is where people say, “Dallas, are you crazy? Jesus can walk on water. What’s he need waders for?” And this is where I say, “Because if Jesus were a fly [...]

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Things I Probably Wouldn’t Have Time For If… Breathing Stopped Being Involuntary

January 21, 2010

This is our first in a series of “Things I Probably Wouldn’t Have Time For If… ” CONTRIBUTED BY JUSTIN McBRIDE (San Francisco, CA) Things I Probably Wouldn’t Have Time For If… Breathing Stopped Being Involuntary Signing up for online payments Dealing with these kidney stones Donating money to the worldwide family of Jesus, my [...]

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Jesus Ranks the Apostles

November 26, 2009

12. Bartholomew 11. James the Lesser 10. Judas Iscariot 9. Paul 8. John 7. Thaddeus 6. Simon and Philip (tie) 4. Thomas 3. Matthew 2. James the Greater 1. Peter

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