Posts tagged as:

nipples

Some Advice for Your Son on Selecting a Safety Word for His Dominatrix

July 28, 2010

Now, Jason, I know you’ve probably got your own safety word in mind, something literary like Pickwick or Portia. I understand that you would mine the pages of fiction and drama for the word you’ll use someday–someday soon, perhaps–to get the dominatrix to cease from pulling on your testicles. But I’d like you to consider [...]

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My Oliver Wendel Holmes Doll

February 5, 2010

When I was a kid, I used to take all the clothes off my Oliver Wendell Holmes doll and draw nipples on his plastic chest. They were little specks, not the giant ones like some guys have. Holmes wasn’t a big nipple guy. And he didn’t like my other dolls. Not because they were mean [...]

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Confusion in a Wet Nurse Interview

January 7, 2010

Mother: And why did you leave your last job? Wet Nurse: My employer no longer needed my services. Mother: Why was that? Wet Nurse: Because the child no longer required breast milk. Mother: I see … and was that your decision or the mother’s? Wet Nurse: Hers, of course. Mother: And how old was the [...]

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Me and Hugo Chavez: Nighttime at Machu Picchu

October 13, 2009

Me and Hugo Chavez used to go to Machu Picchu when all the tourists were gone. He’d take off his red shirt and flex his pecs back and forth, back and forth–okay Hugo, I get it, you’re ripped, Jeez. He’s got nipples like Hershey’s Kisses. I’d crack open a few cervezas and we’d sit on [...]

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