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Social Security

Another Awkward Eulogy

June 24, 2010

I’ll always remember the first piece of advice Grandpa Bill gave me. “Always make sure the guys you’re with wear a rubber,” he said. “You don’t know what kind of women they might have been with before you. And women, they have all kinds of diseases, you know, down there.” I was eight, maybe nine [...]

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10 Reasons My Psychiatrist Doesn’t Believe Me When I Say My Other Personality Is A Mexican Street Dog

June 7, 2010

· 1. I have no trouble forming strong emotional connections. 2. I’ve never been to Mexico. 3. When I am in “Mexican street dog” mode, I still carefully cut my meat into small pieces and dutifully place a napkin in my lap while I sit at a dining table. (She says really this is the [...]

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